Stepdad refuses to take 9-year-old stepson to soccer games with his 7-year-old son: 'We root for different teams'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 5, 2026 12:00 PM EDT

Is it so wrong to take a little boy to support his favorite soccer team?

I hate to see adults downplay the importance of their relationship with the children in their lives. I'm not talking about a random family member a kid sees once or twice a year: I'm talking about grown-ups who actively take a parental role in their kids' lives and don't fully accept the responsibility that entails. They try to use adult terms to justify why they don't care enough about their stepchildren, claiming that because they're not biologically related to them, they don't have an obligation to care for them. Sure, they might not have a legal obligation to pay for the life of a child they didn't mother or father, but that's not what's keeping them up at night. What's keeping them up at night is knowing the kid worships them and wants their approval more than anything, yet they aren't doing anything to maintain that relationship. 

If a stepchild sees their stepparent bonding with their biological child, they might get jealous and want some of that attention, and that's perfectly natural. A stepparent might be hesitant to include their stepchild in every event they attend with their child, and for good reason! A blended family should never be an excuse for never getting any one-on-one time with your kid. On the other hand, it's kind of cruel to take your son to soccer games all the time, without even asking your stepson if he'd ever want to come. 

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  • A man poses with two young boys before a soccer game
    via Geoffrey Moffett

    A dad standing with his son and stepson before a big soccer game.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for taking my son to football games but not my stepson?

    I'm 26 and have a 7 year old son. My girlfriend, of almost 4 years, has a son who is 9.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • We've been living together for about 2 years. My son's mother did when he was one.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • I'm a Man United fan as is my son. My girlfriend's son and his father are Man City fans.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • A group of people holding Manchester City flags
    via Jonny Gios

    Manchester City fans are flying their team's flag at the stadium before the game. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Basically the two big clubs in Manchester with a pretty big rivalry. I take my son to games, but my girlfriend thinks it's unfair that I take my son to games but not her son.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • She said she thinks it's mean and nasty. It's not like I intentionally leave her son out.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • In most ways I treat him like my own son. He supervises my DIY work. I do his homework often, cook, do lego with him.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • I even train his football team. The reason I don't take him to Man Utd games is because he's a Man City fan.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • I also think it would be overstepping his father to do so. I do watch City games on TV with him and even bought him a City kit for his birthday.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • At the same time I'm not going to stop taking my boy to games because her son's father doesn't take him.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • I told her I am not the issue here. I said her issue is with his father and to take it up with him.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • I said if he was a Utd fan, I'd love to take him. I said if he doesn't want to take him maybe see if he'll allow his kid change teams.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • AITAH Less important but some context. This came about because her son had a birthday recently and his father and family came over.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • There was a bit of a blow up between him and his dad and he said he wished I was his dad
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • My girlfriend and I went out to speak to him and he said dad doesn't love him like I love my son.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • Young father with his little son playing football on football pitch
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A dad is bonding with his son in a soccer field.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He said dad doesn't even love him like I love him. He said he (me) takes \[my son\] to games and my dad takes me nowhere.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • Isp2005 I would ask him if he wants a man united jersey. If he says yes, then get him the jersey and take him to the game with your son.
    via u/Isp2005
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply Definitely couldn't buy him a united kit. There'd be utter war. Like genuine ab e etc.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • Baudica You know going to games isn't exclusively for fathers, right? Why can't his mom take him, every once in a while? This will come back as a problem for other stuff, once the games have been sorted. The 'dad' not wanting to put in any effort shouldn't mean the boy misses out on everything. But it's also not all on you, to make up for it.
    via u/Baudica
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply She said you know I don't like football.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • Iceman_001 Well, OP's not going to attend Man City games, so for the stepson, it's either Man U games or nothing with OP.
    via u/Iceman_001
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply I have taken him to a city game and that's probably the way around this going forward.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • Missile_boy8284 Why doesn't his MUM take him?
    via u/Missile_boy8284
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply In her words "you know I don't like football"
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • DuckLord_92 Silly question, but is your girlfriend aware that it's two separate clubs who have a rivalry? My condolences on supporting United by the way.
    via u/DuckLord_92
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply Not a silly question haha but she is aware. The boys get heated during Derby days. The suffering is real. But we will make it back.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • UnusualPotato 1515 We all do things we like for our kids. Hardly any adult likes the things they take their kids to, but we do it because our kids love that.
    via u/UnusualPotato
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply Agreed. School plays is one I don't enjoy going to but I go haha.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • eightmarshmallows She needs to s k it up and take him. I do all kinds of stuff with my kids that I didn't previously like, but developed a fondness for as an activity with my kids. She has a lot of nerve criticizing you for not doing something she isn't willing to do herself. If the 4 of you went, the dad couldn't veto it.
    via u/eightmarshmallows
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply I do agree.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • Outrageous-Arm 1945 NTA, but I think you should s k it up for a game or two and take him to the Etihad, or the city derby. Sounds like you are his dad for all intents and purposes
    via u/Outrageous-Arm1945
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply That's probably the best way out of it.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390
  • FinancialAsk5873 NTA some people in these comments and op's girlfriend just don't seem to get football.
    via u/FinancialAsk5873
  • BookkeeperEastern390 Original Poster's Reply I think it's probably a culture thing. You cannot just take someone else's kid to a rival club regularly.
    via u/BookkeeperEastern390

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manchester teams dad soccer football stepdad mom son stepson
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